Mainly, we are going to define what assertiveness is; You could say that it is the right way to express your thoughts or feelings, without letting yourself be carried away by emotions. How to improve your assertiveness? It is very true that we are not always assertive, but we can develop or improve this quality.
Assertiveness is based on the trust you have in yourself and the degree of your self-esteem understood in one word: «self-esteem». Why? Well, it is very simple, as long as you have enough confidence in yourself, you will be able to express yourself without the fear of hurting others, knowing how to say “no” at the right moment is being assertive.
And, in many cases, we avoid saying a negative so as not to hurt the feelings of others; And when many situations accumulate in which you do not want to be but are not able to say it, you will end up expressing yourself in an inappropriate way. What will result in anger, discomfort and anger?
How to improve your assertiveness?
Here are some suggestions that can help you develop this potential. Basically it is as a popular saying says “it’s not what you say, but how you say it.” So, take note of these tips to say a negative or defend your rights in a sincere and timely way.
Express your opinion
Expressing your opinion in a calm, serene and firm way will help your opinion to be taken into account; since, if you reflect this composure, you allow others to understand that you are aware of the situation and that your point of view must be considered and respected.
Denials are also assertive
Saying “no” when you really can’t or don’t want to, helps you be more assertive. And is that refusing to do something you do not want does not make you bad; on the contrary, you can avoid future inconvenience or discomfort, and it makes you more responsible for what you can and cannot assume.
Get to the point
Saying clearly what you feel, want or require, in a good tone of voice and a calm but firm posture will avoid many misunderstandings. There is nothing better than saying things directly and concretely.
Persistence
This is a quality that can be developed. When you set yourself a goal, it is important to be persistent and insistent.
Body expression
Although it is true, you must take care of your tone of voice to ask, request or simply reject something, but you must also take care of your body expression. Perhaps, on some occasions, we will reject an application and lower our faces or avoid eye contact; because it is here, where you must show the firmness of your expressions.
Looking at the person when you express yourself, apart from being a polite standard, you are also saying to the person: “Hey! Are you understanding what I want to tell you?” Simply put, eye contact will help you probe how far the other person is understanding you.
In conclusion, how to improve your assertiveness is basically knowing yourself and learning to develop the ability to say “no” to a certain moment. This will allow you to open many doors, to be able to take on the tasks that you can fulfill, to make calm decisions, among other things.
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