The conflicts in the classroom are an inherent reality to the fact coexist. What should concern us is not that they exist but how they are resolved.
Society seems to incite us to speak ill of others behind their backs to shout to insult. And even to physically assault them. The learning of coexistence is difficult in adolescence. Because we did not learn before to communicate using the word.
An educational center, in addition to being a learning space, is a place of coexistence. And therefore, a space in which there are conflicts that we must address. Conflicts that occur as a result of the relationships established between students and teachers.
Learning to live together must be part of what we understand by educational quality. Learning to solve conflicts in the classroom. Or at recess, allows to know and practice the processes for the achievement of mutual respect, solidarity. And tolerance, to live in harmony and acquire protective skills in the face of violence.
How does the school teach to solve conflicts in the classroom?
In general, when conflicts arise, they are solved by adults without the ability of children and adolescents to confront opinions, to agree. And to assume the consequences of their way of acting.
They are not counted on and authoritarian and aggressive attitudes are adopted. Or they ignore their conflicts allowing them to solve them “in their own way”, attacking each other, submitting to each other.
The school does not teach to solve conflict situations
Each teacher acts according to his or her own criteria following the traditional model. Which punishes the aggressor and defends the aggrieved person.
Often, when teachers do not know how to act, send children “aggressors” to the address. Or talk to parents to correct their children. Without taking into account that the conflict was not generated at home . But at school and this is why it is there where it must be resolved.
THE TEACHER AS A MEDIATOR TO VIOLENT BEHAVIORS
Children and adolescents still do not learn to solve their conflicts peacefully. Because the social model, inherent to the family and the school, does not promote harmonious coexistence. But rather aggravates aggression.
The assaulted, instead of teaching him to set limits, to defend himself saying “no” firmly and to ask for help. If they do not listen to him, they defend him by pitying him, educating him to be a victim. Or he is encouraged to attack by saying “Defend!”, Referring to to return the aggression.
To the aggressor, instead of teaching him to control himself by leaving the group, to speak to say what he wants instead of attacking. They rebuke him with shouting, disqualification, blaming him, punishing him … They label him as “aggressive”, “unsociable” or “selfish” , transmitting the idea that it is so, that it can not change, contributing in this way to perpetuate its offensive behavior.
To counteract the absence of a non-aggressive social model. It is essential that the school program the teaching of conflict resolution through peaceful means, enhancing the role of the mediator, assumed by each and every one of the students.
We should teach our students to communicate through dialogue, to defend themselves by speaking, to accept differences, to understand, to respect, to express their point of view, to listen, to establish agreements.
His method is based on negotiation and dialogue , working as a team:
- The basis of coexistence is dialogue and agreements. To resolve conflicts in the classroom. It is necessary to know how to dialogue and agree. On the other hand, working as a team allows students to practice values, coexist in harmony by regulating their emotional reactions, acquire skills to resolve their conflicts and be responsible and caring citizens.
- Dialogue consists in expressing one’s point of view clearly and listening with empathy to the point of view of others.
- To teach them to dialogue, we must first listen to them: What do they think, believe, think, feel …? Then we will express our point of view.
- The agreements consist of establishing the norms. And limits of coexistence that are needed. As well as the consequences that help to comply with the norms that cost them.
- At the school, a time must be established to teach the children to solve their conflicts through dialogue and agreement.
- They are told that we are going to teach them how to live in peace. And a different conflict is resolved in each session.
- The children need us to teach them to solve them, instead of us. We should not ask them to solve them without having taught them how to do it.
- We will teach them when they and we are calm. At the moment of the conflict we separate them and then we talk … without shouting, without complaints, without recriminations, without blaming.
- The victim should not defend or encourage him to attack. We teach him to say “no” firmly. If they do not pay attention to him, he has to ask for help.
- To the aggressor we teach him, without attacking him, to say what he wants and to control himself, to calm down, moving away from the child with whom he has the conflict.
- We establish the norms and limits of coexistence: what they can and what they should not do.
Ala Sienna, based on this premise, offers its courses and practical resources to the educator to teach how to resolve conflicts in the classroom . To promote solidarity living in an environment of freedom and discipline.